Shortly after 7.00am on a cold, grey December morning Pete O'Neill and I made our way up a wood panelled staircase to the first floor of Royal Cinque Ports Golf Club.
A spacious, high ceilinged, lounge lay adjacent to a drawing room inhabited by a small herd of leather Chesterfields.
More panelling on the walls, and either side of the fireplace were a pair of oak 'honour boards'.
The boards carry the names of the winners and runners up of The Halford Hewitt Cup.
A portrait of 'Hal' Hewitt sits surveying the interior from above the fireplace's brick surround.
The Halford Hewitt, enjoying it's centenary in 2024, is contested by teams of 10 former pupils from 64 public schools.
Not just any public schools either. The list includes: Harrow, Rugby, Eton, Charterhouse, Stowe, Marlborough, Oundle...
The sort of schools where lots of money (Eton is £17,500 a term) will guarantee you a good university place, a gig as a hedge funder or an Officer's Commission in His Majesty's forces.
Of course the more dilettante students may have to be content eking out an existence on the family allowance.
Or if they're really clueless, employment on the front benches or a term or two as Prime Minister.
But in the main, they are the posh and the privileged. And, like those Eton Rifles , have the odds of life heavily stacked in their favour.
("What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?" The Jam, 1979).
An elitist field? Just a bit.
But don't let that obscure the fact that the standard of golf among these schools is pretty high, as is the camaraderie amongst the teams.
It's worth pointing out that the generation of guys who instigated the Halford had just been through a World War.
And they'd soon be entering a second one.
So catching up with old school mates, privileged or not, was a cherished and life affirming experience.
And that's a timeless thing no?
I'm definitely not posh but there's some really decent people that I like from my school days with whom it's a joy to keep in touch.
We don't hook up on the fairways (mostly via WhatsApp and Zoom) but there's plenty of laughs and banter.
Plenty of genuine warmth too.
And at Royal Cinque Ports on that December morning Pete and I were met with warmth at every turn.
It started with the man sitting behind a large desk in the lounge.
As we approached we were immediately met with a smile.
"Morning Pete and Jon. How was your journey up from Eastbourne?"
Impressive. We'd not previously met Charles Molony.
He's the Assistant Secretary at Royal Cinque Ports.
In fact neither of us had set foot in the Club before.
But that was the informed, personalised, (and 'as warm as you can muster at 07.10 in the morning') greeting bestowed upon us when we arrived for an Open Pairs competition at Deal's famous golf club.
As Charles went through the necessary registration protocols he showed an interest in our home course (we extolled the virtues of Downland golf), asked if we'd ever played Royal Cinque Ports before (no), and enquired whether we had much experience of links golf (yes).
He was clearly very proud of Royal Cinque Ports, (it's a top golf course) but there was no hint of complacency in the way he engaged with us.
"Be sure to take in the half-way hut" he said at the end of his briefing.
"You might want to try a shovril on a day like today".
"Shovril?" we replied in unison.
Charles: "Yes, it's a drink that has quite a following amongst the members here. Sherry and Bovril. It sounds a bit weird but it's a winning combination."
Pete: "Really?"
Charles: "Oh yes. There's a chicken Kiev too"
Me (ever so slightly sarcastically): "Of course there is...that'll be chicken soup laced with vodka will it?".
Charles (grinning): "Absolutely...I thought you said you'd never played here before..."
And with all that talk of food we headed off to find breakfast.
But not before being 'photo bombed' on the way down stairs...and more impromptu banter from one of the team hosting us...
In the dining room bacon rolls and coffee were accompanied by an introduction to our playing partners.
Dave and Ben Newman, father and son, were last year's winners. They'd travelled down from Essex and were here to have a good go at defending. As it turned out, it was also Dave's 60th Birthday.
After we'd eaten, Pete and I had plenty of time to visit the Pro-shop (souvenir ball markers purchased); the practice range (complimentary range balls provided); and the putting green (were the greens on the course going to be as slow?), before heading off to the first tee.
Here we were reunited with our playing partners and met by the competition 'starter' - Phil.
Phil provided another friendly welcome accompanied by some diligent advice about temporary drop zones, flag placements and the pace of the greens.
Complimentary ball markers, tees and pencils were proffered, and, following my request for a pitch repairer,...a rummage by Phil in an' under the counter, special customers only' drawer came up trumps. Ornate pitch repairers attached to stroke saver books for us all...more than generous.
And at 09.00am we tee'd off...
The golf on the front nine started promisingly with a couple of pars.
But when a failed birdie putt at the Par 5 Fifth hole led to a double bogey seven...any early momentum departed, and only returned fleetingly thereafter.
Four putts at the Fifth hole were shortly followed by one very long one on the Seventh. A double breaking 35 foot effort went in, 'Terry Wogan like', as if it were on rails!' (Sir Terry Wogan's record golf putt - 1981 - BBC News).
My longest putt of the year securing an unlikely par.
And then, a couple of holes later, we reached the halfway-hut.
It takes somewhere between 4.0 - 4.5 hrs for a group of four players to play 18 holes.
That's about the length of a drawn out, five set tennis match, or three back to back games of football, or a decent amateur effort at the London Marathon.
Frankly I can't concentrate for that long at a stretch. After a couple of hours my mind will start wandering to where the next cup of tea and chocolate biscuit is coming from.
This is the niche a good halfway hut fills.
And Royal Cinque Ports has a very good halfway hut.
It's not particularly big and it's not all mod cons, but it's got Carol...and Shovril.
Carol introduced herself as 'The Nut in the Hut' (giggling)..."that's what everyone knows me as".
"I've been in here since Covid, I love it."
Pete: "You've been in here since Covid!"
Carol quickly reassured Pete that she hadn't been enslaved in the hut since 2021.
(But then isn't that what she'd say if she had been? )
In the end we concluded that no one can be that jolly and oppressed at the same time.
"We've been recommended to try shovril. Is that on the menu today?"
"Oh yes, of course. Coming right up."
And a few minutes later we had a couple of steaming shovrils to take with us to the tenth tee.
Bovril and Sherry?
I wouldn't rush to drink either as a stand-alone.
But together! What a magical winter-warming beverage!
It no doubt has it's origins in the armed forces, where Bovril has been part of standard rations since the early 1900's. Those Eton Rifles wouldn't have taken long to add the alcoholic pep...
A cinematic reference can be found in one of the final scenes from 'In Which We Serve'.
And on the chilly Kent Coast a 'shovril' was just the tonic to kick start our journey from the outer reaches of the course back to the club house.
In truth our golf rarely hit the heights, although Dave managed to hole a series of really long putts around the turn.
We finished our round accompanied by a sea mist on the final three holes, neither pair with a winning score, but all of us having had a really enjoyable time.
Back in the dining room the chefs were knocking out chicken curry and a hearty beef stew and dumplings, followed by sticky toffee pudding or a strawberry blondie. Delicious fare.
Finally, by mid-afternoon, we were back in the car and headed for home.
The day had left an impression on both of us and it wasn't, primarily, the pleasure we'd had playing a magnificent and historic golf course.
What had really stood out was the 'end to end' warmth of the hospitality we'd enjoyed.
So to Charles at registration, right through to chef Luke in the dining room, everyone we met in between, and all those behind the scenes that we didn't...thank you for elevating a good day into a really top one.
Royal Cinque Ports | Team 'Staff dedicated to Service'
Most definitely.
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