...but remember...
So it turns out that when you stick a fork in a fully inflated space hopper it pops like a balloon...one minute you're sitting three feet off the ground, then bam!, you're on the floor.
Funny? Well I guess that's a matter of perspective.
A' laugh out loud' slice of comedy gold for the unparticipating onlooker? Undoubtedly.
But for the pilot of the space hopper, and the butt of the joke, maybe not so much.
Particularly when said butt has just experienced a sudden and unexpected crash landing...
Here at golf101.co.uk we understand that 'hoppergate' may yet have some bounce left in it.
Our sources suggest that an outline indictment, statements and an exhibit list are now in the hands of the injured party's lawyers.
Prudent then not to include any further, potentially prejudicial, detail or opinion in this forum. It will only serve to add to the disclosure bundle in the case.
Are we guilty of taking this matter too seriously?
Make no mistake, there is precedent for the law getting involved in space hopper related crime.
Suffice to say, the truth will eventually out.
There were, after all, plenty of witnesses to the incident.
And they were exclusively drawn from participants in the 2022 Gross Invitational Trophy (aka GIT Cup).
This year we were at the Weald of Kent Golf Club for our biennial event.
Ukrainian Blue and Yellow were an obvious choice for the team colours. As was nominating UNICEF (UNICEF Ukraine) as this year's charity.
Ours was a small gesture of support for the work UNICEF are doing for children caught up in this tragically unjust war, the consequences of which will be felt for several lifetimes by millions around the world.
Our little fund raising effort took the form of a raffle, with donated gifts ranging from re-conditioned lap tops, golf clubs, Jubilee mugs to, well,...space hoppers.
All very straight forward and with a minimum amount of orchestration.
A few days later however, I took part in a golf day at Willingdon Golf Club (Willingdon Golf Club) which culminated in a full blown charity auction.
Orbital Roofing were the local company responsible for the event, and the charity, also local, was St Wilfrid's Hospice (Home - St Wilfrid's Hospice (Eastbourne) (stwhospice.org)).
A sum in excess of £10,000 was raised on the day - so huge congratulations to all those involved in putting the event together.
I suspect there were a few 'x-factor' ingredients that helped raise such a healthy total.
Almost certainly among them were beer, braggadocio and 'Buttons'.
A room full of cash-rich, alcohol-fuelled builders were expertly encouraged to part with large sums of money by the auction host 'Tucker'.
Tucker (real name Paul Jenkins: HOME | Mysite (funnytucker.com) ) is someone that most of the audience will have seen playing 'Buttons', 'Chuckles' or any one of a number of comedic roles in Eastbourne pantomimes over the years. (Oh no they haven't, oh yes they have...)
He did a great job (Oh no he didn't, oh yes he did...) in extracting the maximum amount of fun, and profit, from the evening.
Good work.
Inevitably, as the evening wore on, one or two souls paired exuberant libation with increasingly exuberant bidding...and almost certainly ended up paying over the odds for some of the auction lots.
Indeed one or two individuals spent lots and lots, on lots.
That said, I don't think anyone at Willingdon would necessarily have woken up the next day regretting getting caught up in the auction 'moment'.
And let's face it, it can happen...
(As an aside...I can't believe there was a single golfer at the inaugural LIV event being staged that Friday who, despite the obscene amounts of Saudi Riyals hitting their bank accounts, was having more fun than all those giving up their money and time at BN20 9AA).
Last week involved three games in three days: a singles knockout club match (a win); an Inter League club team match at Cooden Beach Golf Club (coodenbeachgc.com)(a loss); and a Mizuno pairs event with my good pal Pete O' at Walmer and Kingsdown G.C (WALMER & KINGSDOWN GOLF CLUB).
Walmer & Kingsdown is a querky course set out above the White Cliffs of Dover. We had a great day - one in which our scoring definitely improved after a couple of half-time bottles of beer.
Henceforth Pete and I will refer to this event as the Peroni Pairs (other lagers are available).
And finally...
golf101 wishes to add it's congratulations to Matt Fitzpatrick (and Billy 'on-the-bag' Foster) for a maiden major victory at the US Open.
Pick your own 'nerves of steel', 'man of steel', 'steely eyed', 'steel forged' 'solid steel' plaudit for the Sheffield man, they all work.
What a finish!
And, in sparing a thought for William Zalatoris, the stand out nominee for 2022's 'Close but no cigar' gong, it struck me that the final pairing at Brooklyn was syllable rich.
Ma-tthew Fitz-pat-rick and Will-i-am Zal-a-tor-is
Surely that's more 'units of pronunciation' in a final pairing than anything we've seen since The Open of 1979.